Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Important Women's Health Notice!

Not only is the protection of birth control like having a rhino with you at all times, it will also cause women to feel up endangered species!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Text-Based RPG Fun

I haven't played a Text-Based RPG off of a computer screen since I was probably 14. If there aren't real people, 3d interaction, or miniatures involved, I simply am not interested. I need hands-on, or visual stimulation (yes, I now how that sounds).
However. With my summer of unemployment comes boredom. Extreme, soul-wrenching boredom.
So much boredom that when I told my local comc book shopowner what projects I was doing this summer, he told me to get a job. Thus, in my boredom, I have become too geeky to hang out with the guy that sells comics for a living.
So, anyway, I was willing to try anything. The first few times the facebook panel-ad for this text-based-RPG site popped up, I ignored it. But after being constantly reminded of how people aren't going to make interesting comments on my facebook just because I hit the 'refresh' button every minute and a half, I decided to give it a chance.
I was not dissapointed.
This RPG offers a diverse world, interesting items, in-game choices in alignment, and decisions that affect the world and missions. It's anything but linear.
BUT- Use the SAVE button. Often. I failed to do this at all, assuming things would be saved automatically. they are not. I lost to the Goblin Commander after having my ass handed to my short-sword-wielding self in the goblin-filled dungeon. I was over confident, and it took me back to character creation after I was killed. Because I did not save.
Anyway, give Sryth a try!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Where's My MMO?

There's been plenty of press coverage in the last few months about Fallout: New Vegas, and rightfully so. The game is going to, quite frankly, kick ass.
However. There was a rumor I heard once, around when Fallout 3 came out. It was about an MMO. A Fallout MMO.Where's it gone?
There's been plenty of coverage all over the internet on the lawsuit going on between Bethesda and Interplay. I don't understand any o' that law-jargon, but I do understand that it's all but halted output and announcements on the MMO. It took me a good deal of looking to find a set release date (2012), and a little more to find the little bit of conception art that's been put out.
Finally, I stirred up this website: Fallout-on-line.com. It was within this article, which I'm mentioning because it was very helpful in my search! On the Teaser Website, Interplay Forums are linked, where the team is continuing to chat, update FAQs, and release as much information as they can about the upcoming game. Now that's what I call Fan Support!
Also, visit No Mutants Allowed for helpful updates!


I do not have a particularly high opinion of the Army, Navy, Airforce, or Marines. On top of this, I am a pacifist by religion and belief. However, because of my fantasy-nerd nature, I am not make me a "true pacifist." I also study martial arts, though this is because they're damn cool, healthy, and carry some great dogma for living.
While I love getting head shots on zombies, and there's nothing more satisfying than making a bowl out of an orc's head with a mace or warhammer, I have never loved shooting at people. This means I hate playing CoD. The violent nature of the CoD series attracts a certain kind of person, much as the fantastic and magical aspects of WoW attracts a type. I have generally found that I do not get along well with these kinds of people.
And it doesn't help my impressions with human beings when I find out that someone is enlisted, and plays CoD for hours each day. If you've ever played CoD, or know people that play, you know the kind of people I'm talking about.
While there are plenty of CoD players that are not aggressive, violent, borderline-bigoted-people, many of them are. They seem to often fit in the enlisted-CoD-addict box, also.
However, every once in a while, someone comes along and turns my judgments on their heads- and thank [whoever] for that!
In the April 2010 issue of the Official Xbox Magazine, a comment was printed by a reader calling himself "BlackIce1" that will make me think twice the next time one of my pal's army-buddy says he games too,
"What gives? Over the last few weeks several of my friends and I have run into an increasing amount of racist banter while playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 online. After spending 20 years in the military serving this country, I'm compelled to ask: Why are there still so many idiots here?"

I also assumed that the writer was a male, and for that, I apologize.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Inside the Vault

Vault 106 is one of the first areas I stumbled into when I first stepped out of my Vault. (I'm starting Fallout 3, again.) I think I was trying to find Springvale so I could loot a little before hitting the equipment shops at Megaton. However, being terrified of the vast and largely dangerous landscape of the Capital Wasteland, I ran my sweet mohawked self on over to Megaton with only the forceps and plates I stole from my father's office before taking flight. (I kept the Tunnel Snakes outift I stole off of Butch's dead body, however. Oh, and I accidentally killed him... but that's another story.)
Well, when I finally got used to the world, the compass that helpfully shows where enemies are, and trusted the auto-save feature, I decided it was time to enter Vault 106. It helped I had 4 kinds of guns. Inside the immediate shack-like door there was a lot of trash, but not much else, so I creaked opened the big ol' vault door and proceeded.
My entry was loud- an alarm loudly blared a warning as the door rolled open. I expected a retinue of some kind to greet my entry- probably with violence.
The immediate entrance was trashed- the security and control rooms had overturned furniture, blood stains, and a carpet of papers and clinking cans. At this point, I was obsessively checking my compass, as every step I knocked over something. Barrels went flying, Nuka-cola bottles clinked, and cans went tinging down the metal walkways, but no one cam.
In the aforementioned security room I found some awesome armor inside the lockers, and some of prewar valuables. However, there were also ample bloodstains, and two full human skeletons leaned against overturned tables and a chair, as if they had died right there.
There was no sound, but the debris I kicked around.
I found a staircase, and descended. The light was dim, but harsh. There was large, overturned canister of some kind in the entrance to the hallway. I had just stepped behind it, intending to crouch in readiness to confront the read figures that had just popped up on my tool when I heard a man's voice exclaim something like "There they are! I told you!" and the sound of foot steps down the hallway.
Suddenly, there was a lead pipe in my face.
And again.
Then it hit me that dude was not joking, and so I started hitting back. I did the same to the woman that had run to join him until both were dead.
Then it happened. The first time. It was in a doorway, and I thought it was a glitch. When I back stepped out of the doorway, everything returned to normal.
However, whenever I went through a doorway, the screen went hues of indigo, until finally I found myself trapped in some sort of empty flash-back to my own, well-kept Vault. There were times when I had unknowingly progressed on the map after I had been walking in my blue vision, and would be entirely lost, though only a few steps from my previous location, or just through a doorway. I came to when a psycho vault dweller sledgehammered my shoulder. Don't worry, I looted that sledgehammer.
As I progressed through the vault, I would hear the vault dwellers fearfully asking down hallways, "Hello? Is anyone there?" in friendly voices that could have been anyone from 101. Sometimes they would greet me before running aggressively towards me, and pulling the first strike with their melee weapons.
There were barricade hallways, and little burrows people had made for themselves in the corners of rooms. These table-and-office-chair-trenches were stocked with beer, scotch, cigarettes, and frag grenades.
Now, I read on the Fallout wiki that the public vaults were originally designed as social experiments. Each one had a different purpose. For example: 101 featured an all-knowing overseer, able to monitor everyone's doings. 13 had a planned water-chip failure. Vault 106 had psychoactive drugs released into the air ten days after sealing. I foolishly assumed that meant the vault dwellers would have died of ODs, or killed each other in fits of drug-induced rage. Guess not.
Aside from the overly creepy aspects of progressing through a vault that looks like a war-torn ghetto while high as a kite, and having to deal with vault dwellers that attack you with no provocation (their HP is unnaturally high, also), one other fact did not sit well with me. There were significantly less females than males in that vault. I was reminded of this as I followed the trail of bodies I left in the hallways. Now that I think of it, I should have probably dragged them into one room as a sort of proper burial... and not left all of them naked.
I don't know if this was on purpose, or not, but way to bring on the creepy, Bethesda! I way over thought this. It gives me shivers thinking about being a woman in a drug-induced population where everyone's making burrows to shoot out of and live in. Also, the population is extremely low compared to other vaults- yet there must have been at least a small population that survived each generation. However, their lifespan must have been short, if they got past childhood- no one was old. That's another chilling thought.
All in all, I got more valuable loot than I could carry, and more than a few surprises. This area is more than worth a look-see, especially if you're looking for some scary thrills. Also, skimming through the stories online, other people's reactions to the drugs were different. Some saw their father, or other vault-dwellers, and were even able to select them to instigate a conversation before they disappeared (with no dialogue spoken). Everyone's experience in Vault 106 has been different, which is one of the best things about Fallout- no experience can be replicated! I think this has been my favorite part of the game, thus far.


The Butch story:
So, after getting into Butch's apartment, and being terrible at, and terribly jumpy with, first-person games, I accidentally began beating his mother, and not the rad-roaches... to death. So, naturally he came running in the room, ready for some fisticuffs. Then the rad roaches got at him, I clubbed them to death with my bat, and then looted the bodies. Bad, bad Vaulty. End of story.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Lego Spotlight!

Everyone loves Legos! There is no universe of toy with such strict canons of proportion more allowing of creativity!
Legos are even cooler when they get nerdy.
Spotlight on this guy, Donald Kennedy, who has successfully replicated some of the Nintendo universe's most beloved characters. (To be fair, what Nintendo is not liked?)
Legend of Zelda Custom Minifigs!
The picture to the left is from his website, but follow the link to see even cooler ones!

What's cooler than Lego Zelda?
Well, nothing, but Lego Disaster movies are a close second! Check out these videos by the tomjoetwins!
My favorites:
Lego City Zombie Infection
T-Rex Attacks Lego City

Yes, Jamie Kennedy and Jet made videos in Legos, but never fear, some fans have created lego replicas for Lady Gaga's videos, too! We all have to agree they're way better than Sims 2 tributes, right?
The lighting affects in this one are really the highlight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De8TTLgF0r8

Extend your Fallout Experience!

Finished with your Fallout 3 game, and anticipating the release of New Vegas? Well, to get your fix of Post-Apocalyptic Desert goodness, I've compiled a list of media and entertaining tidbits for the survivalist in all of us!
Within the Fallout Universe:
There is an excellent Fallout Wiki that includes a comprehensive list of topics from all three of the Fallout titles, Tactics, the Brotherhood of Steel expansion for FO3, New Vegas, and even the unreleased Van Buren project by Black Isle Studios.
  • The Fallout Bible: A list of information and backstory compiled by Chris Avellone on Fallout 1.
  • recover89 on Youtube has 2 quick & dirty overviews of the story lines of Fallouts 1&2, using only the necessary Cut scenes and conversations.
While there- don't forget to check out the speed runs, fan films, mission walk-throughs, and truly shameful NPC "fun" available on Youtube!
  • Wasteland: The original Fallout was intended as an "unofficial sequel" to the 1988 game Wasteland. I haven't played it, but the storyline sounds similar to the Brotherhood of SteelFallout 3. The gameplay and mechanics were groundbreaking for the time. If you want some classic post-apocalyptic-desert fun, check it out!
  • Fanfiction: A simple google search will turn up tons of sites full of Fallout-themed fanfiction, but here's one to get you started: Fanfiction.net.
  • IGN/Blogs: For updates and the latest reviews, check out ign, and don't forget about independent bloggers! Many of them cover E3, and are much better than I am at staying on top of current gaming events!
  • Music: The iconic themes of Fallout were done by the band the Ink Spots, the "most imitated entertainers in show business," and they can still be booked!
  • Civil Defense War Museum: Amazing collection of posters and retro information on what to do in case of a Nuclear Fallout! (stolen from the No Mutants Allowed Forum- Thanks, Diarmada!)
  • Speaking of: No Mutants Allowed can probably supply any super-geeky need for fallout you've got, along with interactions with other nerds. It's like a Fallout-Geek-Playground.
More Fun in the Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland:
  • Mad Max: No, that's not the Vault Dweller and Dog Meat. That is the iconic Mad Max and his faithful K9 companion. However, Dogmeat was modeled after Max's buddy. Zooming around the wasteland in his modified Ford Falcon, Max defends searches for valuable gasoline, and fights motorcycle raiders. The Mad Max Franchise includes 3 films (Mad Max, Road Warrior:Mad Max 2, and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome), and talk of a 4th, animated one. There's also a video game.
  • Tank Girl: (film) Still in Australia, we visit the zany world of Tank Girl! While the comics are much more righteous, brutal, and the generally preferred mode of Tank Girl, the movie's still fun, and is the only one set in a post-apocalyptic desert wasteland. It's pretty much what is sounds like- That is, if you pictured a mohawked loud-mouthed hardcore babe driving a tank around the desert, battling mutant kangaroos and the fascist monopolists Water & Power when you read the title.
  • A Boy and His Dog: 1975 cult film, based on a story by Harlan Ellis. Story of a young scavenger's survival in the Post WWIV Desert with his history-lecturing dog.
  • Cadillacs and Dinosaurs(Xenozoic Tales): This is my FAVORITE comic series of ALL TIME. It is the story of Human Kind in a sort of final age- where the land and wildlife have returned to an age of Dinosaurs, and mankind's previous technology has been all but forgotten, or resigned to novel antiquity. This series has fantastic character, settings, and perfect storylines. There was also a TV Series, and 2 video games.
  • DMZ: While not a true apocalypse story, it does feature a lack of law, turf warfare, and utter chaos in a fictionalized modern-day New York. The government has been forced out as different groups battle for control.
  • The Walking Dead: A group of people attempt to achieve some level of normalcy while surviving a world where the dead walk. Other survivors are often their largest obstacles, however.
  • SuperGod: The world has crumbled after countries, major and third world, have created super-humans to fight their battles for them.
  • Sweet Tooth: A mutant boy with deer antlers wanders through a post-plague world, in constant danger. I don't think I can describe this series well enough. READ IT!
  • The Zombie Survival Guide: The classic guide by Max Brooks for any zombie-phile. The book's full of basic survival tips applicable to any form of societal shut down.
  • Escape from New York: A cult-classic. Kurt Russel stars as Snake, a convict on the way to being sent into barricaded and lawless New York. He is charged with finding the President after his plane goes down inside.
  • Escape from LA: Pretty much the same as Escape from New York, but with Steve Buscemi and a sweet surf scene.
  • Resident Evil Series: The video game, movie classics. For the ultimate in leather-laden desert-loner goodness, watch the last of the film trilogy: Extinction.
  • Day of the Dead: Unlike Romero's other films in this series, Day of the Dead is set after the apocalypse has been on for a little while, and its human survivors must battle each other, as well as the undead threat outside their underground haven. Features one bad ass female lead.
Video Games:
  • Left 4 Dead Series: 4 people are forced to fight their way across towns, through malls, and over car-littered highways to get to a government pick up point. Did I mention the hordes of zombies? A lot of fun for you, and one to 3 of your friends, or play online! You can play on zombie versus human teams, or band together to get across the expansive maps! There are two games in the series, though they differ mostly in characters and setting.
  • Resident Evil Series: Classic story of characters pushing through the apocalyptic aftermath of illegal human experimentation.
  • Omega Man(s): a 2-episode series about the last 3 guys left on earth after a nuclear holocaust. Features intense UV rays, bad beer, and mutants.

Similar Themes:
There are several recurring themes in the Fallout games. Most notably, the loner, or group trying to make it in a world that they don't quite understand, and is largely out to get them.
Here are a few movies, and other media, that expand on that theme:
  • 30 Days of Night: I did not see the movie, but the comic series is fantastic. A group of Vampires prey on the small village of Barrows, Alaska during their month-long annual period of continuous night.
  • I am Legend: Yes, we all know the recent movie, but there was a novella, as well as another movie based on it titled Omega Man.
  • Pitch Black: The first movie in the Chronicles of Riddick trilogy. Passengers of a ship transporting a notorious criminal crash land on a seemingly uninhabited desert planet.
  • Silent Hill Series: The video games, and the movie take place in a deserted mining town doomed to repeat its visitor's history in horrifying visions and monstrous incarnations straight from Hell. (Interesting fact: Silent Hill is based on real-life Centralia, Pennsylvania. Youtube it!)
  • The Warriors: (film) The classic 1979 story of a gang wrongly accused of murder, but, hey, it was a book, first!
  • Any of Romero's Zombie Films: They all feature a group thrown together in a zombie-filled setting fighting to survive. Beware of the remakes!
If you have any suggestions of what could be added to this list, please comment or email me! I will be adding things as I think of them, also!
And the rest is up to you!

A second look at Haven on Facebook

The story is good, with some interesting twists: specifically their take on the Orc race. As I understand, this game also has some extensive literature available for free of background on the characters, kingdom, and main storyline. On top of this the art is FANTASTIC, though some of the female generals are dressed in ways that are not conducive to battle. Luckily, not all of them suffer from this.
One of the biggest ups of this game is that there's always something to do. At first. If you run out of energy, you can battle other players using stamina points, either waiting until energy replenishes, or leveling up and therefore refilling at that point. Once a day or so, you can fend off an attack on the temple, assuming you have 5 worthy generals on hand, which always proves lucrative. As long as you invest in land, which at first appears intimidating, you should always have gold on hand to go to the market. However, the more time you spend in the game, and the higher level you are, all the point-and-clicking gets dull. This can be looked at as the end result of most Facebook games, I know.
Another real downside is that gold in the game seems to be pretty much only useful to buy land to get more hourly gold. While it's necessary to hire new generals and units to complete the missions, it's rare that you don't have gold on hand for that, when you need it. The weapons and armor available in the shop become obsolete as you defeat bosses. Currently, all of my generals are equipped by almost solely loot drops from the boss battles. However, this game is not nearly as annoying as others of its kind on facebook when it comes to dollar-grubbing. All of the offered bonuses for sale are amulets, magical weapons and armor, or refills on resources that regenerate over time, or are replenished completely after leveling up, and are not necessary for gameplay.Also, the equipment is a little confusing, and time-consuming to outfit.
Haven has proven to be a simple and enjoyable RPG. I would suggest this game for all flavor of gamers- strategic, storyline, character, et cetera- and all experience levels, but be aware that is gets boring quickly!
All complications aside, I have yet to encounter a glitch. Overall, it's important to remember that this is a Beta version of the game, and they're constantly making changes to make things run more smoothly.

Age of Champions on Facebook

The first thing noticeable about this game are the customization options for your avatar, or "champion." The colors, facial features, gender, and even initial clothing are entirely up to you with no effect on in-game stats. The three races, however, all have different bonuses and negatives, so it's important to think about what kind of character you want to play, and not pick the one that looks the prettiest. You can always edit the avatar, anyway.
However, the game lacks a tutorial whatsoever. To make up for this, it's not too difficult on beginners- clicking around the toolbar and trying out options shouldn't get you entirely murdered, as long as you aren't a total beginner in the fantasy genre.
Speaking of getting murdered: the battles play out in 3d to epic music for your viewing pleasure.
The quests are straightforward, and mostly text-based. They end up being solely button-pushing. The atmosphere created by the visuals, and sound effects is pretty good, however, and this alone will keep you interested for at least a little while as you travel the wilderness.
Like all facebook games, though free, the creators are looking for money. While the armor and weapons you can equip in the character editing mode seem to have no effect, useful armor is available for purchase with blue crystals. This currency can only be procured by leveling up, signing up for advertiser's annoying services, or forking over cash, irl.
It's pretty cool to hire units and outfit your army. It's especially exciting to see the equipment you've bought them show up in the battle sequences, and make all the difference.
This facebook game stands out for its battle sequences and personalization options. The storyline is thrust on you partway through the adventure, however. Apparently, you want to be emperor, and that's why you choose a "house" in the beginning with a matching alignment.
Once given the time necessary for figuring everything out, Age of Champions is a worthy part of your daily facebook fix (if not more than daily).

Saturday, June 19, 2010

All I have to say about Haven on Facebook

Yes, you and your family were adorable on your skiing trip... NOW PREPARE TO BE INVADED BY MY HORDES OF HEAVENS GATE WARRIOR-MONKS.
Yes, that was a nice senior picture... NOW PREPARE TO BE INVADED BY MY ARMY OF CRUCIBLE MAGES.
Yes, that is a cute kitten... NOW PREPARE-

Yes. I was defeated by a guy with a "can haz" cat as his profile picture. My shame runs deep, his blood will follow!
Also, play this game!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Ultimate Woman

I printed out an internet Valentine for my significant other a few weeks back. He said it was stupid.
He also refuses to watch Star Wars, so I don't know what I thought I was getting with this relationship, anyway.
For the record, the above, linked comic is the best valentine ever to be received by your lady.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Scarier than a T-rex.

When I was a kid, this terrified me in the Milwaukee Public Museum: Psh. Wimp. Nowaday's I'd go at it with my Bone Great Sword, or shoot it with my Rifle. Yeah, every modern lady knows how to deal with anything Post Permian.

Nowadays, this is the shit that really scares me:
For those of you that don't know upon immediate viewing, that's a replication of what they think the Pre-Paleozoic Silurian Reef looked like. One covered the Midwest part of the U.S. (including Illinois and Wisconsin).
There's only one thing I hate more than taking a swim in dark, open water: HP Lovecraft-esque diddlies that used to hang with Trilobites where my house is now. It seems like everyone of H.P.'s characters has dreamed about these things, and some even had their brains switched out for one. Explains why those stories creeped me out so much: they reminded me of my childhood.
Oh, and those squid-diddlies: they evolved. They're called nautiloids.
Luckily, they aren't nearly as big as they used to be. Wait, just kidding. Those babies are the precursors to the notorious giant squid and that giant octopus who fought Godzilla. And cuttle fish. *Shudder*
A friend of mine once said that if Octopi lived longer as a species, it was speculated they could begin to create civilization. This may have been said by a scientist that was also a crack head, but I'm still not a skeptic. It is entirely believable to me that there may be armies of giant squid lead by octopii controlling the seas in our future.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

PC Memory Lane

While playing Prince of Persia: Sands of Time today, I noted that the Gamecube at my feet was getting so warm I was worried it would overheat. The thought brought me back to the days when you actually had to worry about machines doing that. You remember: When you had to buy things like "Graphics Cards" every year to play the newest games, and had to run through Microsoft's wizards to delete enough programs to run the new RPG you just picked up.
It made me think about all the awesome, totally righteous babes we used to have to look up to. I grew up going to Cons and playing D&D with my mother: my standard of beauty was the EverQuest girl, and the covers of Dragon Magazine.
I remember spending many a cold winter's day on my trusty old PC running Windows XP, and watching my party in Dungeon Siege take out that graveyard full of zombies, just to have to damn thing overheat. But hey, it did heat the room.
That brings me to one of the reasons Dungeons Siege was my favorite: that smokin redhead on the box.
She was a classic: red hair, green eyes, and on top of it all, she's rocking a HUGE sword.
Also, she's in FULL armor. No chain mail bikini here. The cut's definitely female, but it's anything but revealing.
On top of that, the game gave you an extremely customizable character for the time, and one choice was male of female. Also, a lot of the characters you could hire for your party were powerful females- and not just nymph-like wizards and fairy-elf-druids.
When the game came out, I remember this hard-core chick being next to every PC of every gamer guy I knew (on top of the copy of Diablo II they were still working through with the bikini-clad "rogue"), and it made me damn proud.

Then the sequel came out. Yeah, she's showin more bosom this time, and her armor's lighter, but she is sporting a shortsword, and that place she's in looks HOT. Plus, the guys around her aren't decked out in full plate, so they're probably moving fast and not doing battlefield warfare. Assuming she's as good with that sword as her return to the Sequel implies, she'll probably have no problem defending that bit of skin, anyway.

Then the Expansion came out.
Plus her build is slight, and, for once, her *ahem* rack matches realistically.
I've got no idea if this is the same chick or not, but she does sport the red hair and a sword. A KILLER, sword, but her armor hardly matches. I hope she's not planning on doing close hand-to-hand combat (though I know some gamers out there are hopin for that kind of action), because that armor dis just not going to do it. And those BOZANGAS! Can you say "Steel-clad nip-slip?" That waist is going to snap in half with all the weight that's above it, but, hey, at least the artist spared her the discomfort of having any over her belly button! Look at those knees: hanging out in that wasteland is clearly causing her to starve.
Second thought: She is significantly paler, and the black lips could either make her an undead, or a goth-rave-vampie-wannabe.
Oh, and look at that- the leg-plates don't connect to the armor over her lady-parts. Gas Powered Games really pulled a Class Act on this one. Ooh- and her bikini line's been waxed! Good! I was worried that all that krug-slaying and looting she was doing before was having a toll on her social duties as a woman, but now she's clearly decided to show the world that she's still a woman and proud. A woman with breasts. Big ones. And probably a vagina. Well , and a big sword, but that's about to break, anyway.

Then the Dungeon Siege II Deluxe Edition came out. While it doesn't sport a Deluxe pair of breasts this time (sorry- I HAD to do it), it's still got little armor coverage where it counts. While she's clearly got SOME protection from the ankle-biters (haha- get it, cause she's a woman, so she has children), and the flowing red hair's back, the cleavage is, too. The chest isn't as ridunculous, but it's still hangin out. Oh, and there's nothing under her pauldrons and gauntlets- can you say chafed? (Same goes for the above image- OUCH!) The "II" is blocking it, but I'm pretty sure we'd see belly button if we could see her torso. So, awesome, one swipe and she's out a couple major organs.
I don't know what else to say about my fallen hero and role model, except, "What happened?"

Babe in Armor Out.